I was thinking that last night too...it was getting on for 3am and I was like...SHUT UP!
I mean they sing beautifully but theres a time and a place...

I like the composition, it's like rain running down a window or something, it kind of drips, and I like it.
There are no hard sounding words in this, they're all soft and make me sleepy.
I love it.

Oooh Oooh *claps insanely*
Simply beautiful.

--
Don't you know the joker laughs at you?

Very beautiful, although doesn't resonate with me personally. Still a very well-written and well-structured piece.

--
Sold Under Sin

Thank you muchly, m'dear.

Keep me posted on youknowwhat! lol

--
<sub>"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]</sub>

Exactly! Promptly at 3am -- I think they're backwards (almost wound up in the poem, too).

I didn't pick up on that pattern of flowing like water, back and forth. My subconscious likes to do a lot of things without my knowing, you see. Especially when bloody birds keep me up at weird hours. I thank thee very much for the loverly comment.

--
<sub>"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]</sub>

Aw, no birdies?

(Thank you!)

--
<sub>"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]</sub>

I liked the visual images you used in this one... very calming... you could sense when and why this poem was written... very beautiful and melodic...flows perfectly...

<sub>*gasp*



........



I LOVE THIS!!</sub>

--
^* * _{* I wish y o u
would take my Radio
to b a t h e with you
Plugged in and R e a d y to f a l l}

realy enjoyed reading this great piece of writing

congrats

please read some of my work and see what you think??

Phil

I like this. Your use of line meter is soothing--it flows. I also like: "I sank lower than midnight"--a suitable image to set the soothing tone of this poem. And you made a nice slant rhyme with "off-gaurd" and "stars."

My only critiques are... The title. The poem seems to be about something of some importance--I am assuming love. Somehow I believe a title like "Idle" Wednesdays would be more suitable for a poem about a dull Wednesday than such a wonderful, romantic moment.

"It was pure
rock salt
designed to flare
my nostrils." I don't understand this. What is "it"? First you write of being gold flowing through his bloodstream, and then you somehow transition to "it."

"They were singing
for us
just as we
were singing
for them." I don't understand who "they" or "them" is. Is "they" referring to the molecules, or the jays? What happened to the singing jays?

As I said before, I like this poem a lot. It's calming.

--
K8