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Intervention by *ColdContactKiss:iconColdContactKiss:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Satire

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©2009 *ColdContactKiss
:iconcoldcontactkiss:

Author's Comments

Sigh. *RalfMaximus made me.
Prompt of the Day #3: Stephanie Meyer is done with Twilight and is now looking for a new project. She chooses to rewrite either Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, the works of HP Lovecraft, or a reboot of Anne Rice's vampire series. Produce a sample chapter from this Stephanie Meyer alternate universe.

Structured around the entire Twilight Saga (and movie), with insanely obvious Interview/Frank influences; totally forgot about Lovecraft. My sequel senses are tingling.

***
Twitards: This is S-A-T-I-R-E. Get over it.
Rice and Shelley fans: I am so, so sorry.
General: Credit where legal credit is due.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconralfmaximus:
*RalfMaximus Mar 7, 2009, 9:47:12 AM
Ah, this made me convulse with happiness and despair. It's studiously hideous, clearly your best worst work. I hated it as I loved every carefully crafted word, each one honed to cause maximum damage to fond memories. I wanted to claw the pixels from the screen and throw them at you.

Well done.

Title suggestions (now with extra suck):
- Interview With Too Many Vampires
- Intervention with a Vampire
- Victor Victorious

[cross-posted from the main PotD thread; I meant to put this HERE. *sob*]
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
*ColdContactKiss Mar 7, 2009, 10:51:52 AM
Intervention (with a Vampire). :plotting:

[S'okay. I forgive you.]

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconsilverwingsoffire:
~silverwingsoffire Mar 7, 2009, 6:53:21 PM
OMFG.
When I saw Lestat...just saw the name...I wondered if you made a fanfic...I read the /prompt...and was wondering if you went there...you did did did!

And you made me writhe, hell dahl...this is freakin' hilarious...and since I so well do not recall has Ms Meyer makes her living...I can see such things happening.

Dude, this is a bloody massacre...a mockery...or not? You imitated it...to a perfect 'tee'. I've got tears in my eyes.

--
All I need is a piece of paper
and something to write with, and then
I can turn the world upside down.
- Nietzche

Everything you can imagine is real. -Pablo Picasso
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
*ColdContactKiss Mar 7, 2009, 7:22:14 PM
:evillaugh:

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconinordinate:
~Inordinate Mar 8, 2009, 2:46:05 AM
I've not read Twilight, and now I don't need to. I've paid my dues. :P

--
Sold Under Sin
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
*ColdContactKiss Mar 8, 2009, 11:36:29 AM
If only I could be so lucky. :P

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:icontotipotent:
~totipotent Mar 18, 2009, 4:11:57 PM
Good lord, this was awesome.

I still think you are in denial of your fondness for the series... It's not that bad. You know the caliber of lit we read, and I love Twilight. In any case, I can still appreciate a good satire, and I can't wait to read your sequel!

This might be a good exercise for me to get into prose again... not sure if I'm creative enough for this.

--
'tigers don't live in south america... ZOOLOGY!'
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
*ColdContactKiss Mar 18, 2009, 4:29:44 PM
Fondness? P'ah. No. You're entitled to like it. Meyer just irks meee.

If you need inspiration, check out *RalfMaximus' other prompts - New one every single day (hence Prompt of the Day). Some stuff might be right up your alley. :D

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconellenrae:
*EllenRae May 21, 2009, 6:27:37 PM
Some background to my comment is needed. I've been having some major health issues lately, and my boss, gotta love her, decided I should read the Twilight series during my convalescence. I made it through the first two, and started the third. Tedious is a good word to describe these books.
I want to thank you for writing this little tidbit. I look forward to the sequel. I'd laugh if it didn't hurt too much, but this was well worth the read and fave.
:giggle:

--
ER Barker
Put down the camera and help that person!~
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
*ColdContactKiss May 21, 2009, 9:12:55 PM
In the works, I assure you. :D

Are you feeling any better now?

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
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