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Paper Moth Wing by ~ColdContactKiss:iconColdContactKiss:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Other Romance > Open




Baby left rime
'round the edges of infinity,
disguised as pearls,
and hung Herself
from Your apartment door.

She froze concave, then,
planting arrows, whispering
paper moth wing
behind Your eyes.

there was no mystery;
there was no knight, nor notice.
She was to stay
like a ring 'round the drain.

but You didn't mind:
this was sheer brilliance
in Your teacup.



`
©2006-2009 ~ColdContactKiss
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Submitted: June 30, 2006
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Author's Comments

Longing.

Oct 12th [DD] edit: Much love and outstanding thanks for *sfm and ^StJoan.
Daily Deviation, 2008-10-12

Daily DeviationPaper Moth Wing by *ColdContactKiss's choice of words - her imagery within rhythm and rhyme. Always hinting towards a darker side, with some sort of moral code. I love her whole gallery, but this one always sticks with me. (Suggested by *sfm and Featured by ^StJoan)

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Comments


~blackdav666:iconblackdav666: Jun 30, 2006, 5:51:27 AM
maybe touching on romantic surrealism, i was touched by

"hung herself from the doorknob"

great emotianl piece very detached i a very positive way

*takes hat off to you*

Phil :D
~SpiffyChicky:iconSpiffyChicky: Jun 30, 2006, 7:54:20 AM
I really like this, especially the line about "She was there to stay like a ring around the drain", but it makes me wonder if you mean grime instead of rime in the first line.

--
lover, now that you've left me,
I'm glad you're unlovely.
~Synnestarr:iconSynnestarr: Jul 1, 2006, 1:31:01 AM
22 minutes huh? what am i missing...?

--
scratch it too much, and it will either spread or bleed...
~ColdContactKiss:iconColdContactKiss: Jul 1, 2006, 7:38:18 AM
I thanketh thee muchly. :hug:

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."

"[You] seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
~ColdContactKiss:iconColdContactKiss: Jul 1, 2006, 7:40:48 AM
Well, to be honest, I needed a graceful number. Twerp's birthday (the 22nd) just passed, so I decided upon his.

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."

"[You] seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
~ColdContactKiss:iconColdContactKiss: Jul 1, 2006, 7:57:57 AM
Whether it be death or relationship failure, the poem is about loss and longing. Her memory is haunting, yet peaceful. But the lack of physical presence leaves 'you' cold sometimes. Replacing "rime" would change the entire feel, I think. The ring isn't meant to be dirty, simply permanent. There's a strong sphere/circle theme, too, and that commands more focus than a tie between drains and grime. Nevertheless, I can understand where you're coming from and I really appreciate the comment.

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."

"[You] seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
~Synnestarr:iconSynnestarr: Jul 1, 2006, 10:49:17 AM
ohhh

--
scratch it too much, and it will either spread or bleed...
~blackdav666:iconblackdav666: Jul 2, 2006, 5:54:36 AM
a sayee no problemy

:hug:

Phil :D
~ColdContactKiss:iconColdContactKiss: Jul 2, 2006, 3:50:39 PM
:giggle:

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."

"[You] seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
`SRSmith:iconSRSmith: Jul 9, 2006, 8:49:23 AM
I liked this, and I'd thought the 22 minutes was a reference to catch twenty two, as in not one before the other, nor the other first. There is a subtle recurrance of orbital imagery here - perhaps I read to much in.

I do really like this. Nicely done!

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
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