Hahahaha - all good. That's what I am here for. I wanted to say - I got your note and I will certainly look at all your chain poems and offer critique.
This one I really love, but I have one suggestion. Why are they 'consumed'. Could an edit work like this:
cicada song- the sleepless villagers still dream
I would remove the comma and put in a dash, whatever you decide about the wording, just cause the dash gives it more haiku aesthetic, I feel. The comma is too sentence like, while the dash offers a "cut" feel, essential to the use of punctuation in classical haiku (the cut word).
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"We are intent on reducing art to its simplest expression, which is love." (Andre Breton)
No comma, no problem - It was more grammatical OCD than anything.
The cicadas are so darn loud, the people cannot sleep. However, they continue to dream of (imagine) other things. Is that concept still accessable without "consume"?
-- "I love when you make the dictionary your bitch." "You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
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Daily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it.
Each day we will feature 5 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community.
Daily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. Each day we will feature 5 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article.
In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community.
After a HUGE success with my double themed contest, Musicality and Picturesque Portraiture, I decided to create a new contest! Again! (what a surprise ) The theme is "remember childhood...?"
^Ikue has been a devious member of our community for almost 7 years and in this time he has proven to be nothing short of dedicated and devoted. Whilst volunteering his time over the last 22 months as a Gallery Moderator within the Community Relations Team, Chris has brought the Vector gallery and many vector artists directly into the spotlight. ^Ikue's commitment to the community is evident in everything he touches and you can always find him reaching out to others with an encouraging word. Chris is a natural leader with a vibrant and empathic personality, and is a role model for deviants everywhere. It's ev... Read More
Comments
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Remember Hannah. news article --> [link] TV program --> [link] Depression should never be fought alone.
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"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
[JDM] [JA]
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Remember Hannah. news article --> [link] TV program --> [link] Depression should never be fought alone.
night:
respite
[link]
another wild stab in the dark, which is what some people have threatened to do if i keep this up.
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Actively Inactive
consumed by cicada song,
the sleepless villages
still dream
Meaning that many 'villages' (the places) still dream. Or:
consumed by cicada song,
the sleepless villagers
still dream
meaning the sleepless 'villagers' (the people) in the village still dream?
Or:
consumed by cicada song,
the sleepless village
still dreams
Just a thought.
--
"We are intent on reducing art to its simplest expression, which is love." (Andre Breton)
--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
[JDM] [JA]
--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
[JDM] [JA]
This one I really love, but I have one suggestion. Why are they 'consumed'. Could an edit work like this:
cicada song-
the sleepless villagers
still dream
I would remove the comma and put in a dash, whatever you decide about the wording, just cause the dash gives it more haiku aesthetic, I feel. The comma is too sentence like, while the dash offers a "cut" feel, essential to the use of punctuation in classical haiku (the cut word).
--
"We are intent on reducing art to its simplest expression, which is love." (Andre Breton)
The cicadas are so darn loud, the people cannot sleep. However, they continue to dream of (imagine) other things. Is that concept still accessable without "consume"?
--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."
[JDM] [JA]
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